Thursday, July 21, 2011

A New Chapter

Posted by: Paulette
Mom, Jvona, and I about 1977 I'm on the left
This is going to be a fairly long post. So, I've decided to divide it into two.
When I was four years old, my Mom divorced my biological father, who was a drug addict, and left with two little girls to begin a new life. It was the best decision she could have made. I grew up with her second husband, Mike, and I came to know him as Daddy. Dad was strict and punishments came with that. He is also a really hard working guy. As I was growing up, Dad worked two, sometimes three jobs to support his family. We weren't wealthy. Dad was enlisted in the US Airforce, and didn't make very much money. I respected Dad, but we didn't have a very close relationship. He was always working, and we were so much alike (something I didn't know until I was a parent) that we didn't get along well with one another.  I was blessed with a brother and then another sister.
Paulette, Jvona, Zach & Rachel about 1985
We were your average family. More was expected from the older kids, and there was favoritism lavished on the only boy and the baby. Who just happened to be biological children of Mike. I often wondered about Paul, but had been told that he was a drug addict. Having him as a dad was not an option.

When I grew up and moved to New Mexico, I learned that my biological father lived nearby. I was curious about what kind of person he was, and I didn't want to run into him by accident. I found that his father lived in an assisted living facility, and I paid him a visit, and arranged a visit with Paul, my biological father.
We went to lunch together and I met his wife, Kathy. After lunch, Paul said, "you know where I am. I won't be calling you."

I though that this was a really strange way to leave things. And I thought that he didn't care about me and my life.
Fast forward about 15 years. I have been married for almost thirteen years and have five children; ages 11, 9, 7, 4 and 2 years.

I've been wondering about whether or not he really would care that I'm married and that I have 5 kids. Which means that he has 5 grandchildren. About three years ago, I started trying to find him via. the internet. It's like he had dropped off of the face of the earth. The strange thing is that I could find his father who had passed away. I could even visit him if I Alpena Michigan. But I couldn't find my own father.
Then a strange thing happened. My sister Jvona, googled hr name and found a genealogy of the Kingsbury family. I'd always felt very disconnected to that family and was even a bit embarrassed to have the last name of a man who was a drug addict. I felt ashamed by the sins of my father. On my wedding day, I was sealed in the temple to my Dad, Mike, and to my new husband, David, on the same day. I felt relieved to be rid of the name. And now years later, I started to feel like I needed to do something about getting to know my history, and the history of the Kingsbury family.
A couple of days ago, I found my uncle in ND. I called his phone number and got an answer. He told me a little about his family and then gave me the address and phone number of Paul. My uncle told me that Paul was a grumpy man living by himself. Now I was really nervous about calling him!

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